It Happened Late One Night

I'll have to take a break from talking about my family and the puppy and life in general for an adult monologue.  Family, please close your browser now. 

Last night I was refilling my weekly pill case with vitamins and such when I went to refill the ever important birth control pill.  I couldn't find the pack anywhere.  I know I just bought it a week ago.  I looked in the nightstand, under the nightstand, under the bed, on my vanity, everywhere I could think.  It disappeared.  Is this a joke?  I panicked.  No no, not because I was getting frisky.  No no, not because I hate babies.  But if I miss one single pill that evil, terrible, no good, ruthless visitor comes within 24 hours.  Like clock-work.

So what's a girl to do?  A girl with a creepy photographic memory closes her eyes and realizes she threw it in the trash.  The trash that was dumped in the bigger trash.  And then the food trash was dumped on top of that.  So I batted my eyelashes at my sweet husband who was already warm in bed and he went down and dug through the trash and brought me the bag.  I looked in it for a second and realized it's the wrong bag.  Then he went back down and brought me another bag.  I sifted through Kleenex and empty conditioner bottles and EUREKA!  I found them.  I hugged them.  I relaxed.  I took one.  I hugged and kissed Nip.  Then rolled over and fell asleep.

I just find it odd something could cause such a panic.  Clearly, the monthly and I are not pals.  But for a brief moment last night I felt ridiculous.  Like Elaine on Seinfeld trying to get her mitts on the last of the diaphragms (or sponges or whatever that was).  I know one thing.  That will NEVER happen again!